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Hi,
I am starting this topic for a friend who is following his dream of purchasing a boat and living life on the water. He has sold his home and is now on an adventure to find the right boat for him and his kitty cat.
He will be updating us on his adventure on this topic.
Follow those dreams because dreams do come true.
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It’s Friday morning and Ms. Kitty and I have settled in at the motel in Panama City Florida. It’s been a crazy week but things are progressing. The number of things to keep track of is daunting. Thank god for lists!
I’ve found a boat and set the survey (similar to a home inspection) and sea trials for tomorrow. If all goes well she’ll be mine by the end of the day. Then while she’s out of the water the yard will clean and paint the bottom. While they’re doing that I’ll take a few days to drive to Alabama and register her there. With luck Ms. Kitty and I will be living aboard by Wednesday.
Today I’ll spend time finding my way around town. I’ve found the post office and arranged to have my mail forwarded. Next I’ll find the yard that will do the hauling and painting, then the marina I hope to use while I’m in Florida. In my “spare” time I need to research and find insurance. Did I mention that it was a long list? Good thing Ms. Kitty is in charge of the list!
Thanks for all the support from my pain community family. -
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Bd,
I am so excited for you as you start this journey of making a dream come true. I hope that this will help others see that they do can move forward with life. I cannot wait to hear your stories of living on the boat with Ms. Kitty. I know she is going to like when you are fishing. I can see her now, waiting on that fish to be hooked and hauled on to the boat. If you are not quick enough, she will be heading below deck to enjoy a feast.
Take good care of you two,
Noki4
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Bd,
It is so nice to read you made the trip to Florida and are now moving forward to purchase a boat. It has been a long journey to get where you are and it has been an honor to follow along on that journey.
Here at TPC we have been and will continue to support you and cheer you on to the next adventure.
Please stay in touch when you can, safe journeys.
TPC_YaYaTPC Community Moderator
“The views or opinion(s) contained herein do not necessarily represent those of The Pain Community.” -
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Ms. Kitty and I have settled aboard the Lonoh. Ms. Kitty’s list is as long as ever. I am very happy with the boat I found and the community has been very supportive.
Through mutual agreement the boat yard is taking their time. We will probably be on stands for a few weeks but that time lets me settle aboard. I have been busy emptying the boat of everything movable to clean and learn how she is put together.
I miss chat and will return as soon as I can. In the mean time I have found this hot spot so I can keep in touch but it’s a 5 mile drive from the boat.
bemember to take care of each other and have a gentle day.
bd -
Here are a couple pictures that BD sent me to share with everyone. Here is one of Ms. Kitty taking charge of her new home.
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Ms. Kitty is so darn cute. She looks like she is enjoying her new home. It is so nice to see the photo’s, thank you Noki4 for posting the pictures for Bd.
We all miss you at chat but we understand that moving takes time. We look forward to hearing more about your new home and journey, when you have the time.
Until then take good care of you and Ms. Kitty.TPC_YaYa
TPC Community Moderator
“The views or opinion(s) contained herein do not necessarily represent those of The Pain Community.” -
Ms. Kitty and I are back in Alabama to establish residency and register the Lonoh. Soon her home port will officially be Bon Secour, Alabama. While we’re gone the yard will start fixing the holes in the bottom. No they are planned for holes not problems. There were 2 thru-hull valves that needed new backing blocks and 3 thru-hulls that I am eliminating. 1 was from the air-conditioner that I removed and sold. The other 2 were from the toilet (head) that was finicky so I am replacing it with a composting head. That will save me the cost and time of having my holding tank for sewage pumped out every week or so. It will also give me the room that the tank occupied.
Hopefully when I finish I’ll be able to think about my own internet connection instead of having to rely on freebies where I can find them. Then I can come back and join you all in chat once more. -
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Hey BD: A friend told me this in regards to internet for you while travelling: Wave Rogue Land and Sea wifi, they are in Florida but will send to anywhere.”
On land, some Walmarts, Home Depot and many restaurants have free Wi Fi too 🙂
Love GG -
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This has been a fascinating thread to follow. I’m eager to read BD’s next chapter. Miss Kitty is gorgeous and I would like to request more updates from her. GG, thank you for sharing the Wave Rogue link. Although I don’t need one, it some how makes me feel better that this technology is available.
Thank you, BD for helping us to dream big.
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We go in the water tomorrow. M.s Kitty is ready to assume command but not the responsibility. It has been a long process but finally we’re ready, or at least the boat is. I’ve crawled inside every locker and followed all the wires. I have a sense of how the boat is put together and what needs to be done. PLEASZE don’t tell Ms. Kitty or her list will grow way to long. You all know what a harsh task master she can be.
The weather here has been great for my tired old bones.
Hopefully by the end of the week I’ll have internet in my next temporary berth and will make it to chat more regularly. I’ve arranged to move to a marina 50 feet down the shore from the boat yard. I’ll be there for a month then float until after Memorial Day. After that it’s off to Alabama to get the paper work part of the boat done. That could be a 2 month process after I get there. The clock is ticking to get it done so I can be mobile for hurricane season. -
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Lonoh is in the water and we’re at our new home temporary though it may be. After a minor adjustment the water stays on it’s own side of the hull. Ms. kitty was not impressed with water over her floorboards. It was a true adventure as in “captain your boat is filling with water” moment. All is well and dry and the folks at the marina are friendly and few.
I now have internet access for the next month and will be at chat tomorrow I hope
Have a gentle day
quack quack -
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Bd,
Thank you for allowing us to follow along on this exciting journey with you. You have shown that dreams can and do come true even when one lives with pain.
You are a true inspiration to many.
TPC_YaYa
TPC Community Moderator
“The views or opinion(s) contained herein do not necessarily represent those of The Pain Community.” -
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I apologize for not being here sooner. My trip to Alabama last week was successful. The woman at the council on ageing helped me fill out forms and get paperwork settled. The next steps can be done over the phone and she arranged for me to get transportation when I return in the boat. It was a quick trip. I left on Tuesday morning and returned Wednesday night. While in Alabama I emptied out my storage unit that I had rented when I first sold my house in North Carolina. This week I emptied out the storage unit here in Panama City. Everything I own is now in the van or aboard the Lonoh.
I was amazed at how much the trip to Alabama took out of me. It was a full week before I had come close to recovering. I have taken the lesson to heart and work a little on the boat each day but spend a lot of time just sitting in the cockpit or sleeping.
I have company coming on Sunday for a few days. At some point next week there is a plan to follow a friend from the marina to an anchorage a few miles from here for a few days away from the dock. Hopefully there will be some good pictures that come from that.
The new shirt was dyed by my neighbor at the marina. They sell them at festivals around the area. -
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The anchorage last week was great. There was an osprey nest in the mast of a sunken boat. We got to watch the babies learn to fly. There were also a lot of dolphins around including a mother with a fairly new born baby. We got there Tuesday morning and returned Friday morning. We chose to travel in the early mornings when the wind was calm. My concern was getting away from and back into the dock so having calm winds was important. It turns out that I didn’t have to worry. With no wind it was easy with just a little juggling to make it.
Yesterday Ms. Kitty learned she can swim. I was lying down in the cockpit when I heard her cry then a splash. When I spotted her she was swimming towards a piling on the dock. She managed to start climbing and would have made it but I grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and pulled her onto the dock. When we’re away from the dock I’ll hang a towel for her to climb.
Having company aboard was exhausting. I’m still sleeping a lot to regain my energy. Even Ms. Kitty was glad to have the boat to ourselves at the end of the week.
Ms. Kitty is settling in and has started getting off the boat. Not only is she exploring the dock she has checked out all the empty boats and some that are not empty. She has chosen an abandoned power boat several slips down as her domain. In the afternoons she’ll go there to nap, though I have noticed that she’s more content to stay home now that we’re alone.
I’ve paid my rent here through June 1st. The plan is to go to Alabama after Memorial Day to register the boat. That is the last bit of paperwork to do. There is a huge list of things to buy and repair before I set out. My dock mates are trying to convince me to stay. Personally I think they just want me to stay and cook. I bought shrimp from a processing plant down the road Saturday and marinated them with dried spices from my garden before grilling them for every-one. I’m not sure what to do so I’m just taking it one day at a time. It’s easy to get overwhelmed and confused when I’m this tired. Fortunately I know the warning signs and for now am able to adjust my schedule accordingly.-
It’s exciting and comforting to hear that you have a new community of friends who want you around. One benefit to consider is that they could help you by watching out for Ms. Kitty as she is beginning to check out her new surroundings and test her swimming skills. I would have been wiggin after that splash down, that’s for sure. Do what feels right for you BD. You’ve earned it!
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It sounds like you have met and made some good friends there. Maybe after you two are rested up from having company it would help if you & Ms. Kitty made a list with the pros and cons of staying or leaving and heading over to Alabama.
It sounds like a tough decision to make but taking it one day at a time and waiting until you are rested up is a good plan.
Keep in touch, love the photo’s and the stories.
Give Ms. Kitty our best and we are glad she is a good swimmer and climber.
Take Care,
Noki4
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For a long time I have wanted to share more of my world. I have also been encouraged by others here. One of the hurdles is the way I view myself. I’m just a painiac trying to get through the day like everybody else. Even the title to this thread is misleading. Sure living on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico sounds great. Admittedly I’m glad to have made it. I don’t have to cut wood to keep warm. I don’t have to work in the garden to feed myself over the winter. I don’t have to mow the lawn. When I think of the things I had to do to make it day to day I’m glad I’m here. I got “lucky” with the boat, the place, and the people here and in Alabama. And I’m thankful every day.
The misleading part of the title is that it’s a dream come true. The reality is that I’m trying to make the best of a nightmare. If my dream were to come true I’d be healthy and working! This is just the next step in the journey. The house in North Carolina was another step. It was a magical place that taught me a lot. I had time to stop and really look at the changes that were happening to me. It would have been nice to be able to stay there.
I have been a painiac for over thirty years. There is a laundry list of issues many of which contribute to a slow degeneration. As time goes on I will be able to do less and less. There’s nothing I can do about it. I don’t have energy to waste being mad or depressed about it. The only way is forward. It’s been an incredible journey. One that I’m not through with yet. I’ve got a morbid curiosity. What could possibly go wrong next. Seriously though, it’s by accepting the course of things and trying to find a path that keeps the magic of the journey alive.
When I told my son that I wanted to move aboard a boat 2 years ago he asked “What if it doesn’t work?”. The real question is what happens when it no longer works. I have no illusions. I’m only here for a while. I have no idea of what the time frame is just as I had no idea that I’d only live in North Carolina for 6 years. If I manage to stay aboard for 6 years that would be great. I intend to enjoy myself as much as I can. I also hope that when this no longer works I’ll be able to plan the next step down and have it be as magical.
As I said before I got started on all that, I want to find a way to share more of my world and thoughts. I need input from you. What do you want to know or see? More pictures of Ms. Kitty? More world less thoughts?
I would like to thank my sister Noki for helping me get this started and for her encouragement and time posting the pictures.
Have a gentle day and take care of each other
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I love being a part of this journey, talking to you on the phone, opening my email to find more wonderful pictures always makes me smile.
I think for many of us that are following you and ms. kitty on this journey, we see hope.
Hope that one day — just maybe — we will be able to step out of the world that we are living in now and be able to start our own journey. The journey that we may have already planned over the years but due to a million different circumstances, we just cannot take that step yet.I loved when you said, “it’s by accepting the course of things and trying to find a path that keeps the magic of the journey alive.”
I could read those lines over and over again. Moving forward on the path’s we find is what we all must do. Going backwards helps no-one — going forward is living life.I would love to see lots of pictures of everything and anything you want to share with us. I would like to hear more of your thoughts on this journey. Thoughts about the pain, the journey, ms. kitty, old friendships & new friendships you’ve made along the way and roadblocks that have popped up and how you detoured around them.
Love ya,
Noki4
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Ms. Kitty has been out and about, finding new places to be. I woke the other night to look up and find her asleep on the screen that covers the hatch over the v-berth. She spent the night there and most of the next day. The air flowing around her must have felt good. Unfortunately (as I warned her) she picked up fleas on her trips ashore. The flea drops haven’t knocked them out yet. The fleas were dropping through the screen onto my bunk. That was NOT acceptable! The easiest was to stop her from sleeping there was to remove the screen. She was not impressed the next time she jumped in there to sleep. She found herself down below standing on my bed.
Yesterday morning I caught a 4 or 5 inch fish for her. She looked at it but had no idea what to do with it so I ended dumping it overboard. Last night she discovered that she could get on top of the canvas cockpit enclosure.
We’ll see what things she discovers today.
bd -
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Enjoying the stories and pictures. Miss Kitty is a doll and I am sure she keeps you in line (I would just remind you and others, fleas are not the only problem with outside cats; be sure and check her for ticks-as well as yourself and others who may have ventured into the grass or woods-I have gotten bitten by the one my hubby brought in after golf). Has she brought you any gifts yet? I am so glad you are living your life to the fullest. It is sometimes easier to think only of our limitations rather than what we want and are capable of. Bon chance.
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As you can see being in charge of the list is exhausting work. Ms. Kitty is a master at finding napping places to maintain her energy.
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We could learn from Ms. Kitty. She knows when her energy level is failing and searches out a safe, quiet place to nap and renew.
We should also try to do this when living with pain. We find ourselves pushing way beyond our energy levels and that is ok. It becomes a problem when we refuse to acknowledge that we have drained all reserve tanks and we need to find the safe, quiet place to nap and renew.
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This is my log entry for last Wednesday. It’s been a hard week but I’ve been here before. On the good side, I’m on the boat and the number of things that are no longer on Ms. Kitty’s list huge.
Wednesday 6-3-15 06:00
I’m hoping the pain of the last few days is letting up. Yesterday, looking through the hallucinations I recognized the pattern. It always amazes me how I can slide up the pain scale and not see it.
Sunday’s energy was not from a good day. It was because my pain had slid up to an 8. That’s the level where the fight or flight mode (it’s stuck in the “on” position constantly) makes one last try. The last of my adrenaline surges and I “run in circles”.
By Monday the level was at a high 8 though there was no energy left. The pain was not high enough to be a level 9 that’s where the hallucinations begin.
I reached a level 9 yesterday and flirted with level 10. The reality is there is no way to flirt with level 10. You’re either passing out or you’re not.
I’m pleased with my automatic response though. I stopped smoking knowing it wouldn’t help. I took a tablespoon of snake oil Monday and Tuesday. I used a little of my inhaler ( I’m out of Spiriva and almost out of my Proair) to increase the O2 levels in my blood and worked at releasing muscle tension. That made it easier for the muscle spasms to flow through me. As they did I could use their energy to draw the tension and toxins out of my system.
Later as things came under control, I took advantage of my digital resources using audio books and old movies as distractions, audio when I couldn’t sit up and video when I could. There were a few hours when I could read, as long as I kept it to the simple short stories. I’ve read some Louis L’Amor westerns. Last night I started “Treasure Island”. I have a complete collection of O’Henry I’ll get out next.
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For now it’s time to rest and access the damage before I try and move forward. As I said at the top, I’m on the boat and it’s tied safely to the dock. There are people here willing to help when I need it. How bad can it be?
have a gentle day and take care of each other-
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Your journey entry floods images through my mind of you in pain and my heart cries for you and others on this pain journey. I share this with you because I want you to know what a huge impact your writing has on me and others.
We have been traveling this pain road together for many years now. We have learned from each other and stood silently by ready to grab that rope and hang on tight to help each other climb over the wall of pain. Now we have begun a new journey to share the untold side of pain through your writings and it will help others. We may have to change course a few times but the sails will rise again and the journey will continue.Much love and Gentle hugs
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Your journey is so inspiring to me. Living on a boat has been a dream of mine for many years. I live in a little house on a major river, about an hour upstream from the Pacific Ocean. I have dreams of finding a boat to live on, at least part time, even if it’s mostly or all at the dock. Thank you for sharing your progress on your journey…it brings me hope.
Hoping your day is bringing you many reasons to smile, that you are feeling less pain than in days gone by.
Blessings…
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I want to share more of my journey with you, the good and the bad. It’s a hard thing to do. I don’t have the vocabulary to describe it. To talk about it I have to look at it and that is never easy. I block it, ignore it, and when I have to, I go away into a world in my brain where there is no pain, using techniques that were taught to me many years ago. Most days are spent in “survival mode”. I spend days trying to get through to the night then spend nights waiting for the day.
My hope is that my story will show you there is “Life” in spite of pain. We have all been robbed of so much it is all to easy to give in. Not giving in takes energy; energy that is to precious to spend fighting. I’m fortunate that I have found a path that gets me through. Though my path works for me it my not work for you. Every-one has to find their own way, but know, there is a path. There has to be. The only other alternative is to give up and NONE of us want to go there!
The following was written several years ago. The truth is it could have been written at any time in the last thirty years. It describes pain flare that can last for a week or more. It was written in my head while I lay on the floor with the hope I could pass it along some day. I always amazed at the clarity and insight that can come with a pain flair.Day 2
Day one is gone. I survived it. Today is day 2. The storms have moved through dumping record snows on the D.C. area after leaving several inches of rain here. Overnight the tempretures were in the high 20’s. Today will be a nice sunny day and will hit the low 50’s. There are 2 more storm systems due in the next few days.
I’m awake at 7:30. Kitty has been on the bed all night but has moved to the living room heat vent for the last hour. As soon as she hears me move she is on the bed. We spend a few minutes waking up and I stretch and take stock of my body. Fortunatly everything moves. I hurt. Every muscle fibre screams as soon as it’s called upon to work. There are gremlins in all my joints. They have crowbars and are trying to pry them apart. Someone has beaten me about the ribs. They are all sore to the touch or the movement of muscle over them. My elbows and arms are especially sore and my hands are like clubs my fingers are so stiff that I type from my elbows. My hips hurt with the pain running down my legs. I feel crooked. I need a big mirror to tell me where I’m off. Perhaps I’ll have one some day.
I get out of bed and kitty climbs on the back of my office chair to wait for breakfast. I make my first trip to the dresser for clean underwear and socks. I get my osteoporosis meds and take one. Then it’s off across the room to put dirty clothes in the laundry bag. Kitty plays tag along the way. I put on my shirt and pants from where I left them on the chest last night. Kitty plays tag and I tell her to wait while I put on my last quilted shirt. When I’m dressed I lean against the chair and kitty climbs up into my arms for our trip to the kitchen. On the way I turn and dip to turn on the computer.
Kitty and I dance our way into the kitchen. I put her on the table and lean down to put her food dish on the table. While I’m down there I pick up her water bowl. When I stand up it’s one twist to the edge of the sink. A twist back to the table and down with the bowl. Up and twist to her food on top of the freezer. Back down and up and I’m done with a few pats to kitty before she jumps down to eat.
Regroup and realize that my hips are going fast. I launch from my position on the end of the table to the left hand doorjamb leading to the hall. That lines me up to head down to the bathroom. There I have lots of doorjambs and counters to lean on. The toilet seat is always down as a landing place of last resort.
Again I’m at the kitchen door. A full turn and I land my butt against the counter next to the sink. Why am I here? Do I want something or is this just where my body has flung me. Now there are waves of pain snapping through me, like shaking a blanket. My muscles are rebelling. I’m forcing them to work without allowing them to purge themselves of toxins. They fight back by sending various body parts flying about in spasm.
Oh yes I’m in the kitchen and really do want to be here. I want coffee. Oh yes I need to cook oatmeal for breakfast. Coffee! Oh My cup is in the cabinet. That’s behind me. I turn and open the cabinet. Now the question is can I raise my arm high enough to reach my cup? After a long slow stretch I get it and am off to the other side of the sink. Coffee. Plug in the coffemaker and get water from the sink one cup in and a half-cup to add because I have an oversize cup. I pry open the top to add the grounds. It resists my muscles attempts to dislodge it. In the end I overcome and it’s open. Now it’s time to regroup. Coffee! Coffee grounds are on the table. I reach over and slide the coffee off the table into my other hand. Now I can carry it with 2 hands and not have to lift it. I swing it up onto the counter and measure it out. Swing it back and onto the table.
Slide down the counter and get a pan for oatmeal. I’m on a roll now. Back down to the other side of the sink and open the cabinet. What’s in the cabinet? What do I need? The measuring cup, that’s why I’m here. Water in the pan and down to the stove. Turn on the stove and try to remember to double check what burner is on. Add a few dashes of cinimon to the water and it’s back to the coffee maker for the rest of the water.
While I wait for the water to boil and the coffee to drip I twist and turn through the house opening curtains and blinds. The computer has booted so I start my online day with the home pages. Oh OH I smell cinnamon! The oatmeal water is boiling in the kitchen. So, I’m off to the kitchen, quick as I can.
The oatmeal is on the second shelf but is light enough to manage with both hands. Once the oatmeal is mixed and set aside I turn my attention to the coffee. Grounds go in the recycle bin. I added cabbage leaves last night and it needs to be emptied. Rinse the filter and back to my cup. The brown suger is another two hand swing from the table. Half and half is in the refrigerator a straight line across the kitchen. There and back and I have coffee.
It’s off to the computer. I check the temps and forecast then turn to the news. It’s DAY 2 so I read the headlines and try an article or 2. My brain has overloaded and I can’t follow from one end of a sentence to the other. I watch the network news from last night and call it a day.
My oatmeal. I forgot my oatmeal. I’m off to the kitchen in pursuit of my forgotten oatmeal. It is a fun dance. I have music on in my head. I “dance” twisting and turning from door frame to chairback along the hallway to the kitchen door. A twist brings me back to my spot by the sink. I’m here for oatmeal. I launch to the fridge and get strawberries out to mix with my oatmeal. While the strawberries are melting I twist and dance to the bedroom and back with the laundry bag.
With my laundry in the washer I can head back for my oatmeal. I get as far as the stool in the middle of the kitchen when I have to stop. I’m an arms length away from my oatmeal but it might as well be a mile. There is no way I can reach over to it. Even if I could stretch my arm I can’t grip it tight enough to pick it up. Kitty comes over to say hello so I take a break and everything is cool.
I’ve finished my oatmeal and had my inhalers. I think I remember taking my lyrica. Somewhere in my dim memory I have a vision of that happening. I take and lay out my meds for the next week, morning meds in one tray and night meds in another. Now I just need to remember to look in the trays.
I’m doing ok my legs and arms are dancing but kitty is asleep in my lap and my brain is switched off. Now the laundry is finished so I’m off to hang it out.
That wasn’t too bad a few twist and turns and the laundry was all out on the line. Now it’s almost time for chat. Through the kitchen to the hall door. From here it’s a sort step and a half to the shop door. One step and the wave comes. I knew it was coming. I just didn’t know where I’d be when it did. Yesterday I was in the kitchen. The wave starts at my feet. My toes cramp from the first twinge of pain. Then it’s along my foot where it slings itself around my ankle gaining strength and speed, through the muscle and bone of my shin to explode my knees. I know I’m going down. I look around to see what I can grab to make my time on the floor easier. The pain is coming. My thighs give it time to pause gaining strength before blasting into my hips. My legs are uncontrollable and I’m going down for good. The pain is relentless raging up my spine, pulling things this way and that. Up an up through my neck into my skull. Oh lord there is no where for it to go! Then it’s gone like the snapping of a sheet. I’m safe on the floor relaxing.
The Floor. The floor is my friend. I have crystals in the windows to throw rainbows. If I have to be on the floor I can at least try and be comfortable. It’s hard to be depressed when there are rainbows dancing about. But today I’m in the hall. It could be worse. Yesterday I was on the kitchen floor. I have pictures to look at. I’ve managed to get on my back so I can see them. Kitty is beside me rolling on her back being her cutist self. She is worried and gently trying to get me to play. It’s no use the waves of pain are rippling through me and I need to get them under control.
Breathe. In Out. In Out. Gently slowly In Out. Feel kitty curling up on my chest. In Out slowly. Another wave of pain and my arms jerk. Kitty isn’t too sure of her perch now. In Out slowly kitty settles in. here comes another wave breathe with it. It’s ok let it roll over and it’s gone with the exhale. The next will be easier. Relax Find my heartbeat. It’s there a steady rhythm always there.
Breathe In Out slowly as another wave rolls through. Now in the lull, feel my head, the spots on my skull that feel like they’ve been hit, my jaw where it’s a little tighter than it should be. Loosen it. Gently realign it. Feel the muscles as they do this work. Take stock of my teeth one at a time. Acknowledge the holes of missing teeth, victims of poor care and meds. My lips, are they wet or dry? What can I do to make them more comfortable? Scrunch and relax my brows.
Slowly work over the top of my skull and down my neck. Taking time to look at each and every part of my body. Like slices from an mri. Slowly looking, finding the sources of my pain. My elbows hurt so I stop and look at them. See the joints as they flex and grind. Follow the muscles as they contract and spasm the tendons tight as bowstrings. Stop and send in the workmen. More blood flow. Raise the temperature relax the area send it food relax the area let the blood remove the garbage that has built up.
Slowly Breathe In Breathe Out. Working from one area to the next. Down Down along my spine out around my ribs. My pelvis and hips are next. They are tough obstacles to get through. My hips are crooked but I can’t tell which one is higher. Relax Breathe with it down around my ankles easing help through to my beleaguered feet. Relax slow and off to that world that keeps me safe from pain. A kaleidoscope of images and places. Places I am warm and there is no memory of pain. Gently in the background is the memory of my heartbeat, setting the rhythm as I drift along.
I’m blessed! Truly Blessed. I’ve escaped the pain for however short a time it may be. I have a home with a roof that doesn’t leak. It’s a true refuge in the country, where I can play in the dirt with my vegetable seeds and fruit trees on good days. On bad days the house is small enough to stumble and crawl from one end to the bathroom at the other.
OH did I mention?
Today is DAY 2
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Like so many of us what lays ahead is horrible. I can’t change it. The docs can’t fix it. All I can do is accept it and follow the path as it opens before me. Focus! one foot in front of the other. Breathe in, breath out. Find something “good” in every day. If there is nothing good then redefine “good”, a child’s laugh, a bird song, the sun warming your back.
Don’t be afraid to try, after all even if you fail how much worse can it be. Follow your path.
Take care of each other and have a gentle day
bd -
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For the last few days I’ve managed to be “functional”. I’ve used the time to do laundry and with a ride from dock mates food shopping. The wires for the mast lights have been traced through the bilges and lockers. They’ve been tested and are working. I need a ride to buy a new breaker box, connection block, and fitting where the wires pass through the deck.
Ms. Kitty and I have been hanging out in front of the fan during the heat of the day.bd
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I have been following your journey and I gotta say, wow! As a caregiver to the wife who lives with pain we have over the years found ourselves changing the game plan due to pain. It is outstanding that you were able to do what you set out to do.
Fair winds and following seas from an old navy sailor.Pipboy
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Yesterday was a good day. Early in the day my brain and body both worked. The winds were calm and my dock mate was available. I took advantage and was hoisted up the mast. I now have a working light fixture. The steaming light is required by the Coast Guard so they’ll be happy. The deck light is a nice extra. I was all done and had things stowed away by 9:30. By the time I was done my brain and body were worn out but I got a major project crossed of Ms. Kitty’s list. I’m sure she has several other things she can add.
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Working on the mast is incredibly hard. All the preliminary tasks were done from a ladder that you can see in a pic posted earlier. For the final installation a dock mate hoisted me up in a “bosn’s chair”. That was a big help because it left both hands free to work. Timing was important to take advantage of light winds and low boat traffic. As you get higher up the mast the distance traveled when the boat rocks in the waves increases. What on deck is a slight movement might move me through a 6 or 7 foot swing.
Also to access the wiring inside the cabin meant ripping the bathroom apart. I’ll post before and after pics in the next day or two.
The project was a great one to cross of the list but it left me exhausted. My next project is to re-bed (caulk) where the shrouds and stays (the wires that hold up the mast) go through the deck. A few have minor leaks and it will be nice to have it done. -
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The last pic answers petmom’s question of where do I keep the litter box. It sit’s in the head (bathroom) under my new composting toilet. I slide it forward out of the way when I need to use the toilet. It may be a little inconvenient, but that’s life in 33 feet. It is also a lot less difficult than trying to find, cut, split, and stack 10 cords of fire wood. And thinking “God do I really need 10 cords?”.
It’s now been 4 months since I had to cut fire wood. Some days that seems a long time and another life ago. Other days I’m amazed that it’s only been 4 months. I have made some mistakes and had a few false starts. That’s life with pain. You get up in the morning (if you’ve managed to sleep at night) and see what works for the day.
I spent a lot of time and energy becoming a resident of Alabama because that what seemed right when I was in N. Carolina. Now that I’m here in Florida and aboard the Lonoh I realize I’m to worn out to make the move. Yesterday I called and told my contact at the council on ageing that I couldn’t get to Alabama and that it seemed to make more sense to stay put and become a Florida resident. Time may tell if that’s the right decision. -
It’s time to update here. There have not been many changes in my day to day activities. The summer heat is here. While most of my dock mates have air-conditioners I make do with a fan. As long as there is air moving over me I’m ok. The day time temps may be in the 90’s but that is less than the 120 that my shop used to hit at this time of the year. I did notice that when the temps dipped to 70 overnight I woke up being cold. Cold means increased pain for me so I’ll take the heat.
I gave up driving a while ago. I am no longer a safe driver. Yesterday I sold my van so it’s official! everything I own is now aboard the Lonoh. In spite of her modest size (33 feet) I have extra room aboard.
The only thing I miss is my library. I brought 3 milk crates of books with me when I moved aboard. Most of them have been read now so it’s time to swap them in for new ones.
My choice of books was designed to keep my brain active. I have read a history of Sparta. The Peloponnesian war was the subject of my last read. Those along with a history of the “myth” of Cleopatra kept interest in history fed. A book called “the fabric of the cosmos” made my head hurt with the ideas it presented. It discussed quantum physics quantum mechanics, and string theory. I won’t pretend to understand or remember all of what I’ve read. That isn’t the point. Just exposing my poor addled brain to new ideas slows down the process of my brain turning to mush. For days that I can’t follow the hard subjects I have the complete works of O’Henry. He wrote around the turn of the century. 1900 is the time frame. I’m an old fart and that’s what century I think of. He had a wonderful mastery of vocabulary. That combined with his sense of humor allow him to mangle the language to create a rich imagery. There are times my brain can’t follow his twists and turns. When that happens I switch to authors like Zane Gray and Louis L’Amor. Though their stories fall in the dime novel category they are still well written and easy to follow with a minimum of memory. This morning I started an account of a trip aboard a freighter from England to the upper Amazon in 1910.
To quote a famous pig “That’s all folks’
take acre of each other and have a gentle day
bd -
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Have you thought about investing in a kindle or the like bd? The Gutenberg project and feedbooks are a couple of sites that you can download books that are out of copy write protection for free. Tons of classics, historical novels,etc. And you can store an unbelievable amount of books in one device that would take up no room on the Lonoh. I envy you your life my friend. Looking forward to meeting you this September. And will only take up a bit of your time so as not to wear you out 🙂
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A kindle or like device may be a good idea at some point. For now I’m working my way through my old library. When I sold my house and moved out of the city I had thousands of books. By the time I got to N. Carolina that # was down to hundreds. I’m now down to around 50 that I want to read and pass along.
Reading is hard for me because it puts my head in a compromising position. I end up with more pain if I’m not careful. I have been listening to more audio books to spare my neck. Fortunately I have managed to collect hundreds of hours. -
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“Placed” is an understatement! It was a huge splash. You can see the difference in the water vapor in the air between the two pics.
The last two weeks have been crazy. Mostly it’s been hot. I’ve accepted the low energy levels, at least until cooler weather comes. I spend lots of time sitting in front of a fan and reading or sleeping. I have been making progress however. Once I got paid for the van I started spending the money. I’ve managed it fairly well I think. First I got my Florida ID card. I gave up driving and no longer have a driver’s license, the streets are much safer now. Then I registered the “Lonoh” and bought numbers for the bow. Now I just have to wash the hull and stick them on.
After that was done I replaced the “house batteries. There are two sets of batteries, one to start the motor (starting) and one set for the rest (house) of my electric needs. Both are kept charged by my solar panel. Unfortunately the day after replacing the batteries I was getting the same low power readings on my monitor. After a day of tracing wires I realized that I had mistakenly replaced the starting batteries and NOT the house batteries as I had intended. So now I have less money but all new batteries aboard. That’s not a bad thing just unplanned for this point.
I’m waiting for a friend to bring me a dinghy that he found and bought for me. Once that is paid for and I pick up the motor that another friend found I’ll be out of money. All in all I think I did well for myself.
The dock has been a busy place as well. There are two new boats with a third on the way. A dock mate has left his boat and moved to New York to replenish his bank account. Boats are expensive and always need something. There have also been two water rescues. One at the dock where a man fell and hit his head. He was face down and unconscious when he was discovered. Fortunately everybody did what they were supposed to and by the time the fire department and emt’s arrived he was conscious and out of the water. He still spent several days in the hospital to clear the water from his lungs and evaluate his head injuries. The second rescue was of a man that fell off his boat out in the middle of the bayou. I was only able to watch that rescue. Within minutes there were several boats headed out to save him. Either case could have ended very badly but for the quick actions of the community. I feel much safer now that I’ve seen everybody in action.
The heat has affected Ms. Kitty as well. She spends her time finding places down below where it’s as cool as possible and sleeps through the day. She takes advantage of the cool mornings and evenings to climb in my lap for attention.
remember to take care of each other and have a gentle day
bd -
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I am so happy that you have found a place to call home where you have folks around you that care. Finding a community where everyone looks out for each other is not an easy thing to do these days. People are either too busy with life or just don’t take the time to meet neighbors. 10 years ago I knew all of my neighbors on this block. It isn’t like that anymore, now people move in/move out and keep their heads down looking at that smart phone or tablet. Too busy to take the time to meet and greet neighbors, it is sad.
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It’s Tuesday afternoon. I’m back at the dock after six days out at anchor. I got back this morning. There was a slight cross wind at the dock so I phoned a dock mate to help handle lines. The slip is tighter due to a new longer boat next to me. She sticks out further into the alley between the docks. I was also towing my new dinghy. In the end the boat handles so easily I didn’t need help. She makes me look good.
Ms. Kitty had a moment of trauma. She was asleep on the narrow part of the deck beside the cockpit when a dolphin surfaced and exhaled about three feet from her. In a flash she was in the cockpit looking back over the rail to see what the heck it was. She really has settled aboard.
I managed to do a little fishing. I rigged a fresh water rod and caught two catfish and a small shark. Small they may be but they still have teeth and need to be handled nicely. With the light rod even they seemed like monsters and was great fun for a morning.
Have a gentle day and take care of each other
bd -
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it’s Friday afternoon and I missed chat this morning. The last few days have been lost in a haze. Wednesday afternoon I used a weed whacker to cut a path to the water so I could pull Ms. Kitty’s new boat ashore. Then I pushed the lawnmower around for a bit when my dock-mate took a break. I paid for it yesterday with pain and muscle spasms. I spent the day watching movies on-line and playing a computer game.
This morning there were clouds moving through and it was a little cooler. I took advantage of the lower temps to do some much needed house work. First I put a load of wash in to soak in it’s bucket. I set that to one side so I could use a borrowed brush to give the decks a good scrubbing.
I took a break then washed and hung out the laundry before taking another break. That was the point I realized I had missed chat. As I was sitting in the cockpit it occurred to me why the boat is a perfect place for me. Think about it. The boat was designed to keep the crew safe and aboard even when the world moves about underneath them. It was designed to withstand storms on the north sea. That means there are handholds everywhere. It is perfect for people like me that are unsteady on our feet. Instead of the world moving underneath us we move on top of it. it’s the same effect.
This afternoon was spent scraping the inside of Ms. Kitty’s new boat. It’s old and has been neglected. Once the loose paint is scraped off the inside I can evaluate it’s condition. Then it’s repair the failed patches to stabilize it so I can use it without doing more damage. I can work on customizing it and making it pretty later.
take care of each other and have a gentle day
bd -
Yesterday started out rainy. I sat in the cabin and played a computer game until it cleared around noon. Then a dock-mate took me food shopping. after things were stowed away I sanded 1/2 the inside of Ms. Kitty’s boat. It has been named “Cat’s Meow” after a small boat that I paddled around with my siblings and cousins when we were small. I ground out all the old paint and the fiberglass patches that had worked loose. The next step is to re-enforce the gunnels then I can take out more around the rear seats. If I take it all out at once the sides will sag open and loose it’s shape.
Today started off foggy. After it burned off I did a few buckets of laundry. It’s all hung along the life-lines to dry now.
This afternoon I need to clean the head “bathroom”. That’s where Ms. Kitty’s litter-box is and she has managed to spill litter. Cleaning should be a daily chore. I do manage to clean her box everyday so there is no smell but the five minutes it takes to wash somehow gets put off.
have a gentle day and take care of each other
bd -
I’m still working and trying to find words and images to show people what life with pain looks like. This is a piece I wrote a while ago. It has been a long time since I’ve been brave enough to venture out into a crowd.
Friday night and we’re off to a local club to listen to live music. You hurt, but you always hurt. The band is good, the dance floor is lively. The place is jumpin! You’re in luck and find a “safe” table. With a cold beer in front of you everything is great. Oh! You can’t forget, you hurt. On your quest to find a safe table you’ve been bumped how many times? How many of those happy people then turned and patting you on the back apologized? Now you’re really sore. But! The band is good and the place is jumpin. You’ve got a “safe” table and a cold beer. Enjoy it! The trip to the bathroom is another whole experience! You get home and you had a good time. The band was good and the place was jumpin.
Pain is isolating. The body’s immediate natural reaction is to withdraw. -
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This morning it was nature that provided the show.
I was sitting in the cockpit having my 2nd cup of coffee when a pair of kingfishers continued their mating dance they started yesterday. Yesterday they were up in the trees where I could watch them fly about in circles, loops, and rolls at top speed. This morning they brought the show in close. They were chattering and swooping between the boats. wing to wing or one in front of the other where the space was to narrow. Often they were within arms reach of where I was sitting.
They are a wonderful contrast to the planes from the air force base that chase it other around the sky here. Both the birds and planes flew similar patterns at top speeds, great fun!
have a gentle day and take care of each other
bd -
A day from the log
Monday 9-7-2015
time 06:30 temp 69 barometric pressure 1026 batteries 12.01 and 12.76
Yesterday was a hard day. The storms systems from Saturday are still around. The day is lost in a fog. The trip off the dock to take out the trash and see how well I was moving required a rest stop on the way back. I talked to a dock mate while I was resting.
After another rest, I think I went up to the club house and watched a couple of shows on net-flix. Later I played a game on the computer.
The 69 degrees this morning is cold. I have on a long sleeved shirt and could use socks. It’s not the insulated underwear kind of cold that’s coming but it’s still cold enough to leave me tight and sore.
Ms. Kitty is loving the cooler weather. She starting to grow her winter coat. She been running up and down the dock attacking all the pilings. Aboard she’s been chasing shadows and tripping over her own feet. Several times I’ve stopped her to remind her of the danger of falling overboard.
have a gentle weekend and take care of each other
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We got back from our excursion to Panama City Beach yesterday and had a wonderful afternoon with bd. He truly is living a dream and has a beautiful view to wake up to every morning. Meeting you was everything that I had hoped it would be and am looking forward to seeing you again the next time we sojourn your way. May just go by myself next time so can visit longer without worrying about the gk’s following in ms. kitty’s paw steps and tumble off the dock 😉 Although, ms. kitty did not seem too impressed by our visit and hope she will allow me back on the Lonoh!
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I am way behind on news on the dock. I have been thinking of all of you. Unfortunately even in paradise a life in pain is still a life in pain. The weather and pain determine when my body and brain work.
Though I repeatedly warned her Ms. Kitty fell in. It wasn’t off the boat that might have moved underneath her. Oh no that would have been one thing. Instead she fell off the dock! I heard the splash but when I went to investigate I couldn’t see anything. She was swimming underneath the dock to the piling closest to the boat.
I was great to see Opa when he came to visit. I hope he and his family had a good time. His grand kids were a little bored but managed to hold up for the time they were here.
There are pictures to post when I get them sent out. Pictures of the oil barges that come on a regular basis and of a power boat that burned across the bayou one Sunday morning. -
PAIN… HOW DO YOU SURVIVE IT AND WHERE DOES IT TAKE YOU?
This is a subject that I’ve wanted to address for a long time. It’s hard and there are no words to do the topic justice. This can also be an AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION THEME. Feel free to join in and answer the question…
The docs always ask us to rate our pain on a scale of 1<10. What does that really mean? We’ve all heard some-one reply “my pain is a 12 or some other higher number”. While I wouldn’t presume to question their level of pain. Every-one has a different tolerance to pain, saying anything higher tan 10 voids the answer. All it says is you don’t have the tools to rate your pain. One trick I learned along the way was to write down what the numbers meant to me. What really is the difference between a level 3 and a level 4 pain? A personal scale that stays constant. It’s something that can be given to your doc so thy understand as well. Most days my pain level is at 5 and a half. I know that because a slight increase takes it to a level 6 and that takes my breath away. At a level 10 I am passing out. After that point you’re unconscious and there is no pain. It can’t get any worse than that.
As weird as it seems I was laying in my cockpit the other night hovering between the hallucinations of a level 9 pain and the relief of a level 10. Relief? Did I really just use that word? Yes I did. That level no longer scares me. I’ve become familiar with it and know I will get through it. In the process my mind takes me to some pretty bizarre places. So as I was lying there between reality and hallucination I started to work on this piece. That meant trying to pay attention to what was happening and where I was going. In the coming days I’ll try really hard to share some of these journeys with you. Over time I hope to share how I came to be in this strange place of trying to embrace my pain enough to share.
Until then have a gentle day and take care of each other.
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I love the idea of writing down what each number on the pain scale means to us. We all should do that since each number can mean something totally different from someone else.
I am blessed (I guess that is the right word to use) to have a high tolerance to pain.
Over the years I have been able to see that it was because I had my three girls to take care of. I could not lay down and rest or tell them I could not meet their needs because Mommy hurt.
I had to be the best Mom I could be. After all were bathed and fast asleep then and only then could I drop the window that I keep shut so tightly to keep the girls from seeing the pain. Night time was my time to deal with the pain, stress and frustration that the pain causes each of us.
We all have struggled with our answer to that pain scale when asked my healthcare providers. By writing what each number means to us, it could help our providers to understand how we deal with the pain at each level.
Take care,
Noki4 -
“Blessed” such an interesting word when it comes to discussing our pain.
I was blessed at an early stage in my “pain journey”. The expression “you want to cry? I’ll give you something to cry about” also applies to pain. When I first broke my foot I spent 18 months in pain that was all but unbearable. Often I would think about smashing my foot with a 2×4 then it would have a reason to hurt. After operations to remove scar tissue, PT, special shoes and braces I opted to have the joints in my foot fused. The logic sounded good. If there were no joints in my foot they couldn’t hurt. Of course the docs did tell me I’d be in a wheelchair by the time I was 40. Fortunately they were wrong. Unfortunately they were wrong on several counts. I later was diagnosed with RSD and all the doc’s best intentions only made things worse. They were good docs and did a good job with what they knew.
When I first came out of the anesthesia after the operation I refused the morphine the doc had ordered. He came in and read me the riot act about not playing the “tough guy”. I told him I would ask for pain meds when I was ready. First I wanted to figure out what had just happened to me. It was a 10 hour operation where they took the graft material from my hip. I don’t know how long I went without pain meds though it seemed like hours. The time did give me a chance to compare what I had been living with to the new pain levels. It also gave me a chance to see what a true level 10 pain was really like and how my body reacted to it. Granted it took me years to truly learn the lessons from that day. The “Blessing” was that I got to know intimately a level 10 pain. Over the years I’ve had lots more opportunities to look at and understand it. It’s at least a monthly and often more frequent visitor. Pain at that level no longer scares me. I know what my body will do and that I can survive it. Writing down what the different pain levels mean to you helps to take the mystery and anxiety out of the feeling. Understanding my pain takes away a lot of it’s power over me.
It’s hard to look at your pain. The body’s natural reaction is to block it as much as possible. It takes a lot of conscious effort to really look at it. A level 8 is hard. By the time it’s a 9 the hallucinations start. They can be pretty interesting and bizarre. My approach is first understanding what’s happening then just going along for the ride. It’s not like I have a choice anyway, and a level 10 is almost easy or at the least easier. After all, passing out takes the pain away so there really is nothing to be concerned about.
It may be a weird way of looking at it, but I’m weird to begin with and 30+ years of dealing with this life hasn’t changed that.
I will try and continue to share the different lessons and blessings I’ve had over the years. It will take time and may come in fits and spurts. So much is lost in the fog and it’s not fun to look at the journey.
Have a gentle day and take care of each other
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I have not sit down at the computer or with paper and pen yet but I have been thinking what each number on the pain scale means to me. I have made a few written notes so I don’t lose those thoughts within the pain.
I find myself going back over the years and how each number means something different then what it would have 5 or 10 years ago.
As Father Time marches on, so does the pain, and sometimes I have to stop, look and listen to what my body is trying to tell me because what was the “normal” 6 months ago may not be the “normal” now.I have to hold on tightly to my “blessings” or I fear I may lose a part of me that I am not willing to let go.
I know the two words, pain & positive do not usually go together but in order for me to fight the pain and try to stay in control, I have to look at the positive sides of life. The pain has allowed me to meet and make wonderful life time friends. The pain has allowed me to travel to several pain conferences where I listened to inspiring words from those who live with pain. The pain has allowed me to look within and I have found parts of me that I did not know even existed. I have found talents that I may never have found if it were not for the pain.
The list goes on but this is enough for now. I love reading your insights, keep sharing please.
Noki4 -
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BD and Marinesargeant meet face to face after talking with each other for years online.
For many of us here at TPC, we have been talking to each other online for years and we found TPC to call our online home. It is always so wonderful when one or more of us get to do the face to face meet-ups.
Noki4 -
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I’ve been away far to long and I apologize. The truth is I’ve been having a hard time lately. I’ll be fine I just needed time to process some of life’s curves. I’ll try and be more consistent both here and in chat. In an effort to keep this thread on the light chatty side and in am attempt to talk more about the elephants in the room and how I deal with them I’ve started a new thread called “Mumblings of a hermit”. I’ll try and use that for more serious or bizarre mental wanderings.
as always
have a gentle day and take care of each other
quack quack
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Bd,
We are happy to have you back. The journey of pain is one that is unpredictable. Sometimes before we even realize what is happening, it sneaks up on us to make sure we are still paying attention to it.
We look forward to reading more here about the Lonoh and Ms. Kitty and on the other forum, Mumblings of a Hermit.
TPC_YaYa
TPC Community Moderator
“The views or opinion(s) contained herein do not necessarily represent those of The Pain Community.” -
Things have been busy on the dock and I’ll try to get you all caught up with at least the major things soon. For now I’m here at Ms. Kitty’s orders (some of you now Ms. Kitty from chat and others from her pictures above). Though I don’t want to discredit the caregivers out there, it’s a hard job, to call Ms. Kitty a service animal isn’t fair to her. When I’m on the floor and can’t move for a week she’s there beside me. She may grumble because her litter doesn’t get cleaned in that time but she still uses it. If she doesn’t cook or shop for me it’s only because she’s a cat and that’s not her fault. Any way the point is that Ms. Kitty has decided that as an important member of my household she should have a place to present life from her side. I’m starting a new thread called Ms. Kitty’s World where you can see dock life from her level. With the addition of the mumblings of a hermit will let this thread go back to my log and life day to day.
for now
take care of each other and have a gentle day
bd -
After several days of rain the weather cleared for Christmas. For the last few days the days have been mild and sunny. Mentally I’m ready to go physically I’m ready for a nap. I took advantage of the sun to do as much washing as I could. I also spread my bedding out on deck to air in the sun. The seven pillows get stuffy jammed in the v-berth and smell much better after the airing.
Christmas was a nice day. I did several loads of wash but also visited with my family by phone. Later in the after noon I went next door for Christmas dinner with my neighbors. Ms. Kitty got a new laser pointer from Santa and has been amusing herself with it. Santa got me a new audio book. I’ve been listening to it. They are a big help in getting me through days when my body needs to be quiet.
There have been some incredibly high tides lately. The full moon and southerly storm winds piled the water up in the bayou. There were several nights the water was level with the dock. The strong winds were holding Lonoh off the dock and that made for a long uphill jump to get aboard. Even worse was jumping down on the dock after dark.
Have a gentle day and take care of each other
bd -
The winds pulling on the Lonoh and high waters sounds a bit scary. When that happens at the dock does the water become rough like it does out at sea? I image the Lonoh, you and Ms. Kitty being rocked side to side and waves. It made my day to read that your neighbors had you over for Christmas dinner, I don’t worry as much knowing you have someone near by.
It has been raining here for days, we did get a break Christmas Eve and had nice weather for our trip to my parents.Take care
Noki4 -
The bayou is protected enough that waves can’t build. The wind pushes Lonoh against her dock lines and they act like shock absorbers. I originally was unsure how the movement of the boat would affect my pain levels. It turns out that the motion is soothing.
have a gentle day and take care of each other
bd -
The weather is warming and winter is loosing her grip. I have ordered an antenna that will hopefully let me sign in from aboard Lonoh. It will be here in a few weeks.
There have been changes on the dock. A new boat with a live aboard came and went. I didn’t even get a chance to growl at him. A boat that was here when I moved in has been sold and after a month of preparations has departed for New Jersey. With 2 slips open we’re all somewhat apprehensive over who might move in. On the good side I have boats all around me so who-ever moves in won’t be right next to me.
The last few weeks have been crazy. First there were a series of storms that left me feeling battered and worn out. The next week brought company to the Lonoh. That turned out to be a long but good week. Late in the week Ms. Kitty and I played host to 5 guests for shrimp dinner. The cabin was crowded but comfortable.
The next week brought a return of the storms and a background cold. This week has been sunny and warm. I’m finally starting to warm up and move about.
more soon
take care of each other and have a gentle day
bd
quack quack -
Tuesday 3/8/2016
Ms. Kitty and I have been living aboard for a year now. Not once have I wished to be back in N. Carolina. Though I have no concept of how long I may be able to live aboard, I feel incredibly lucky to be here now. Life aboard is as easy as I could have anywhere. With the continued help of my dock-mates I will be Ok for a good while.
Yesterday morning Ms. Kitty was off the boat for two hours. After the first hour I did a quick search. I wasn’t to concerned. It was a nice day. I had been in the cockpit and there hadn’t been any confrontation or commotion on the dock. After and hour and a half I was worried. I looked all over the boat as well as the dock and the other boats. She was no where to be found. I tried to comfort myself with the knowledge that she was just hiding or more likely sunning herself some where. I sat in the cockpit washing laundry and kept an eye out for her. She finally came strolling back aboard.
take care of each other and have a gentle day
bd
quack quack -
Bd,
It is so comforting to hear that you are exactly where you and Ms. Kitty need to be. I adore that you have such wonderful dock mates to help you when needed. It sounds like Ms. Kitty has explored her surroundings and has a few places she has not shared with you.
I have to say that as I was reading your post, I got tense when I read she was no where to be found. We do love our fur kids to the moon and back and they give us such wonderful companionship and a love like no other. So happy she came home from her adventure and all is well.Take care,
TPC_YaYa
TPC Community Moderator
“The views or opinion(s) contained herein do not necessarily represent those of The Pain Community.” -
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It is beginning to warm up a bit here in Michigan but you can’t beat the Florida weather we had when we visited you. I have some pictures I took that I would like to place here but will need to ask Noki how. I wish I had taken more however it is photographed in memories.
To be so close to nature like you are is such a gift. The music all around you from boats, and planes, and such is like a symphony like you said. Paul had such a great time meeting you and learning all about the boat.
I learned a great deal listening.The blue color of the boat top mixes right in with the surrounding in its beauty. Pictures do not do it justice. Imagine the colors you see in the pictures here and multiply the colors by a million and you might be close.
Will see about getting the pictures posted.
Best,
Ruthie -
Finally I’m back. The lost month is another victim of the learning curve. In an attempt to get internet onboard the Lonoh I “broke” my computer. The trip it took to the “dr.’s” did not go as I had hoped. They re-installed my operating system and it works so I’ll have to go with that. As frustrating as the process has been I’ve learned a lot and am now approaching my electronics from a different approach. Using part of a gift from family I set out to improve the quality of my days at the dock. Before I could do that I had to realize that the dock was where I live. First I bought a kindle paperwhite. It gives me a library again. It’s so much fun to imagine a book, category, or author and be able to read it. Next I bought a 7″ kindle fire I will use it for online things. It is also the perfect size to watch videos in the v-berth. My laptop will be for of-line use music and such. Instead of trying to find an antenna that will give me Wi-Fi access I’ll give the money to the landlord and have him install a repeater.
more soon
until then take care of each other and have a gentle day
quack quack
bd -
Last week was a busy time. I spoke to my landlord and he is going to put in a repeater so I can have internet access aboard Lonoh. I carved a wax pendant model. It is a whale’s tale and will be cast in silver. I wanted to finish that because the person that wanted it came to visit for a few days. He was able to see and approve the model before I sent it out to be cast. The BIG item for me was finishing the carving of the “Russell PIN”. Including the treasure chest he’s standing on he’s about an inch and a half high. I started the design talks for him 5 months ago so it’s a huge relief to see him done. Now I wait while it’s cast and finished.
There is a new boat on the dock. The couple that own it are friends with several people that are already here and will be a nice fit.
For now I’m worn out with the stress of company and the release of a big job finished
take care of each other and have a gentle day
quack quack
bd -
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The weather has been nice this week though a little cool with a north wind. I spent a lot of the week sleeping and reading. it’s nice to have the boat to myself and Ms. Kitty agrees. I have ordered new carving tools. They should be in by Monday. I have one more piece designed and ready to carve and two more in the design phase. It’s been a lot of fun with little stress. It is hard on my body but I try to carve in short stretches.
I want to get the boat ready and go anchor out for a few days. There is little that I need to do and a few things I would like to do. Some of them could be done at anchor.
take care of each other and have a gentle weekend
quack quack
bd -
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Just a quick update. Yesterday we had RAIN and lots of it. Fortunately there was not a lot of wind. There is a tidal surge that has the water lapping the dock at high tide. That leaves the deck of the Lonoh at the level of my hip. It makes for a climb to get back aboard.
I have not anchored out yet. Instead I’ve bought an air conditioner. Ms. Kitty loves it!
For now I’m taking things one day at a time.
Have a gentle day and take care of each other
quack quack
bd -
Sounds like when the tidal surge is up it is best to stay on the Lonoh if possible so you do not have to climb to get back aboard. I think that AC is a fabulous idea for both you and Ms. Kitty. Not sure how it affects you but the heat in the summer is as bad as the cold in the winter for me. Don’t get me wrong I will take hot temps over cold and snow but when it gets really hot, it is just too much to handle.
Take care
Noki4 -
Grrr
I lost track of time this morning. That’s not a bad thing because it meant that I was successfully distracted. However it meant that by the time I got on-line chat was over.
Yesterday I received a picture of the “Russell penguin pin” that I had carved. It is now cast in sterling silver and the enameling is done and the stones set.
Ms. Kitty has been spending her days below in the air conditioning. She comes out with me early in the morning and later in the evening after the day cools down.
Next week is my birthday and time for my six month review of life. Most of the changes have come in relaxing and learning. My carving has opened up new ideas and possibilities in carving and life in general.
If I can see myself being productive and learning new things then life can’t be all bad.
for now have a gentle weekend and take care of each other
quack quack
bd -
I have not been as active as I want. It is getting harder for me to get about. The good news is that I hope internet access will get easier soon. I so want to share more of this journey and things are changing faster than I can plan for.
Ms. Kitty is doing fine, There have been changes on the dock some for the good and some were hard for every-one. The key for me is to remember that we are all transients here. That includes myself. I will be fine here for now but I need to start planning now for the next transition. That will be here all to soon.
I still am amazed at the magic that brought me to this dock. The family that I have here is amazingly supportive.
I have written more for my mumblings of a hermit thread and will try to get it entered soon.
for now take care of each other and have a gentle day
quack quack
bd -
Hi Bd,
After you and I talked in the chat room I got to thinking about how I was worried you were giving up on life. I came to the conclusion that we all need to think about our next steps in life, the who, the what, the when and the where.
It just makes good sense to at least talk about it. Nothing has to happen in the here and now but at least we and hopefully our families will have a plan so to speak.It makes me smile every time I think about the wonderful folks that are around you. I worry less about you because I know they are there for you.
Give Ms. Kitty a soft pat for me
Take care
Noki4 -
It’s been a long week. The hurricane passed to the east of us. That left us on the safe side. The winds were from the north and sucked the water out of the bayou rather than the big storm surge on the eastern side. My family on the dock had already talked about storms. Wednesday we went over basic plans and started doubling up on dock lines. At that point it looked as if it was going to make landfall here.
Thursday we spent lashing and packing for evacuation if we needed to go. By That time we knew the storm was headed more to the east. I set up Ms. Kitty’s carrier and she crawled into it and went to sleep. As the sun set we gathered at the rv and relaxed. The winds were still from the north and on the dock they were strong but manageable. By 10:30 I went back aboard, opened the hatch over my bunk and fell asleep under windy and partly cloudy skies.
We’ve had more rain since then and that has continued to beat me. The drier weather seems to be here for the next day or so and I’m trying to take advantage of it.
For now
take care of each other and have a gentle day
bd
quack quack -
We have Wi-Fi on the dock now.
My son came and spent a week. That seems like a lifetime ago. awe had a great time. Unfortunately I did not listen to my body when it told me to slow down. I managed to keep it up until I got up to walk Caleb to his car to leave. My back muscles locked up. I went into a full myofascial pain flair. For the next few days my back was so tight that every time I tried to move I passed out. Even unconscious my muscles stayed locked and I’d come to in the same position. I’m better now. It only took three weeks to recover.
Cool weather has arrived. The ac has been packed away and I’m enjoying the time before the heater needs to come out. The nights are cold. At least the low 50’s feels cold. I have a warm sleeping bag so I’m fine. The days have warmed up and been beautiful. I have been sleeping a lot trying to regain what energy I can.
Ms. Kitty has been spending more time off the boat. Yesterday she came back aboard with a lizard hanging out of her mouth. She dropped it on the aft deck and it immediately dashed under a coil of line. Ms. Kitty spent the next hour trying to track it down. I told her I would be very unhappy if it ran across my face while I was asleep. I haven’t seen it so I’m hoping it’s found it’s way ashore.
that’s all for now
have a gentle day and take care of each other
quack quack
bd -
I am so glad that your son got to come for a visit. We do tend to over-do when we have family or friends come for a visit.
Sounds like Ms. Kitty has gotten very comfortable with her surroundings and from reading her post on the other forum she has made a few friends (even though she would never admit that).
Our weather has turned cold at night and even had a few cold days where our heat has been on. Fall is in full swing here in the mountains.
I do hope the lizard did find it’s way back home, I would have a melt down if it run across me.
Take care,
TPC YaYa
TPC Community Moderator
“The views or opinion(s) contained herein do not necessarily represent those of The Pain Community.” -
The weather has shifted. “Cold” has come to Florida. My muscles are tight and everything hurts. After a week and a half I realized that my congestion and cough is just my body’s response to the cold. They will fade away over the next month or so as long as I stay “healthy”. I was worn down to start with and the difficulty breathing has sapped my energy even more. I manage to get from one end of the day to the other. My dock mate took me shopping yesterday so I’ve got food.
I talked to a friend on the phone yesterday. He said I didn’t sound good and asked if I was ok. What could I say? No I’m not OK. None of us are “OK”. There’s nothing to do but keep trying to get through to tomorrow and then do it again.
for now have a gentle day and take care of each other
quack quack
bd -
The cold has also began rolling in over the mountains here in WV. I understand the tight muscles and such. It has only just begun and I already feel like it is going right through the bones.
I think at some point we all feel exactly as you in regards to the question, are we okay. How does one answer that question when the answer is not simple?
I suppose if we respond with no I am not okay, then we are setting ourselves up to once again explain why we are not okay. I think there came a time that I just started saying, yes I am fine. It is easier than trying to explain why I am really am not fine or okay.
Stay warm and take care,
TPC YaYa
TPC Community Moderator“The views or opinion(s) contained herein do not necessarily represent those of The Pain Community.”
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You’re right YaYa.
Long ago I learned the smile and stock safe responses. I don’t care what others think. In this case it was even a concern from what he heard in my voice so it was not a casual question. And yes he got a safe stock answer.
I think the take away truth is I’m less healthy than I was when he saw me a few months ago. I’m not ever going to be that healthy again. I’m OK with that. It’s part of the reason I keep to myself. The facts of all of our ailments are horrifying to even those closest to us. When asked that question by those who see and care, the answer is simple you just have to look in their eyes and they know or they don’t.
For now take care of each other and have a gentle day
quack quack
bd -
I think it is scary for those who are closet to us because they can fully see our health declining.
Also if they are close to us and see us all the time, the change can be dramatic from one day to the next and that can and is shocking for them.You are right about the look in their eyes and us being able to tell from looking at them if they get it or don’t get it.
Stay warm,
TPC YaYa
TPC Community Moderator
“The views or opinion(s) contained herein do not necessarily represent those of The Pain Community.” -
The last few days have been warm. When the cold and snow went across the country last week our temps went down to 28 overnight. Ms. Kitty and I stayed below for three days. Now the nights are in the mid 50’s and day time temps are in the 70’s. There has been some turn-over of the boats here. For now there is one less live aboard. The boat next to me left and has been replaced with an empty boat so my space is quieter.
have a gentle day and take care of each other
quack quack
bd -
Oh to be in the 70’s would be great. We keep flip flopping between temperatures and my chronic pain body does not like it.
It really would be better if it would just get cold here and stay cold. Of course I would prefer it get warm and stay warm but I live in the North so we have cold winters.Quieter is good as long as you do not lose your good neighbors/friends.
Take care
Noki4
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