Looking 4 hope, 2 give & get support, & less shame

[alexia]

Hi, my name is Alexia. I’m new to this forum, actually to any online forums. I’m here because I’m searching for support from people who understand, won’t shame me, and maybe help me find hope too.
I’ve just moved to CA from the mid-west after a series of traumas that I’ll share with you. I have been in a lot of pain for the past two years in particular, taking 2 Vicodin 10/325 mg every four hours. I realize that is a lot of pain meds. I feel so shamed. I feel shame for having pain period. I’m looking for some support around this shame, any advice about dealing with the pain as I drastically cut my pain meds in this initial period, and suggestions for tapering off in healthy ways. Fully understanding that this is not medical advice or anything similar. In CA none of the primary care physicians I’ve seen will even prescribe half the amount of pain meds I’ve been taking. They are uninterested and show zero compassion for what has lead me to where I am and how badly I want help. Please know that I have went in saying I’d like to get help tapering off the pain medication. Can they help me do that, working together? At the same time, I’d like to find new ways to feel less pain. I’ve started physical therapy, etc. I was shocked by how I was treated. Both doctors said I never should have been on that amount, and when I said I understand, but I’m at where I’m at and I’d like their help. Their response is that they will not prescribe anywhere near my current dosage, and what they will prescribe they shamed me for and made me feel like a criminal.
I have to pee in a cup every two weeks, sign pain contracts, waive some of my rights to privacy, etc. I just started to cry and cry. I don’t have a choice so I’m starting with ½ of the pain meds I normally take, starting today. I’m trying my deep breathing, rocking in my rocking chair, distracting myself, etc to deal with the crippling pain. I have no family or friends to support me so I’m hoping I can reach out to you. Any suggestions on how I can get through these first really tough days? Is there really hope? I feel so far gone.

[Noki4]

Alexia,

First let me say, how truly sorry I am you have been treated so horrible. No one….No one.. should every shame you for being in pain.
There is such stigma surrounding those who live with pain because of illegal drug addiction/prescription addiction. People living with pain have been lumped into the same category as those who have made a decision to use illegal drugs and to use prescription medications not in the intended way.
I am so sorry that the healthcare providers you have seen have not been helpful.
If you would like to let me know here or through private message the general area you are in I will be happy to reach out to some of my friends in CA to see if they have any suggestions for healthcare providers who may help you.
Please know you are not alone on this journey, there are others like myself who are there to offer you support, compassion and friendship.

TPC has hosted chats in the chat room here on this website on Monday-Wednesday-Friday at 11am eastern time and on Thursday nights at 7:30pm eastern time. It is a great place to meet new folks, to talk to others who truly understand what a life of pain is all about. I do hope to see you there.

Take care,
Noki4

[TPC_YaYa]

Alexia,

Hello, it is nice to meet you but I do wish it was under better circumstances. We here at TPC are so very sorry that you have been shamed for living with pain.

The stigma that is out there is doing so much harm to people who live with pain. We are working to change the stigma so people living with pain are not shamed and are not put in the same category as those who are fighting the demons of addiction.
Both chronic pain and addiction are serious health issues and we must address them both. The conversations need to happen without increasing the stigma against people living with pain and their healthcare providers who have found that pain medications along with other therapies are needed to ensure quality of life for people with pain.
TPC embraces, promotes, and educates about an integrative approach to management—an approach that is positive, hopeful, and empowering. The Integrative Pain Management (IPM) model of care:
Is person-centered and reaffirms the importance of a healing and committed partnership between the healthcare practitioner and the person with pain. It focuses on the whole person—mind, body and spirit.

I see that Noki4 has shared with you the times of our hosted chats. The chats are a wonderful place where we strive to make sure all who attend our chats feel safe, secure and know that they are not alone.

If I can help you find your way around our website please let me know.

TPC YaYa

TPC Community Moderator
“The views or opinion(s) contained herein do not necessarily represent those of The Pain Community.”

[bd]

Alexia
It’s good to meet you even if it has to be here. Medications are always a sticky issue and I’m sorry you have to go through it. Although I’ve managed to be med free for years the same can’t be said of the pain. Pain is an incredibly isolating force. I urge you to come to chat, as Yaya and Noki suggested.
you can see some of my recent history in the forum post log of the Lonoh.
Remember you are not alone. There are others that do understand and won’t judge.
take care
have hope
come to chat
bd

[Noki4]

Alexia,

I hope you received my message to you. I am sorry I did not see it earlier. If you look at the bottom of page when you sign in to chat, you will see a small icon with a number one in it. Click on that and you will be able to see our message box. Here on the site you can send private messages to members and I received the one you sent me. You can also talk to others in the Group Chat room on Monday-Wednesday-Friday @ 11am eastern time and on Thursday night @ 7:30pm eastern time. Hope to hear from you soon.

Noki4

[Author]

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