Oh, SirenDestiny, it sounds like you are in a big transition phase. I urge you to keep moving forward to find new joy as I have. (I’m in my 50’s now) In my 20’s and 30’s I kept having to give up jobs to find something more compatible with my pain condition(s) and ultimately stopped working in my mid-30’s because my body couldn’t keep up.
At first it was overwhelming to have to grieve the loss of my ability to work (and bring in a paycheck!) while trying to recover from a very serious health issue. Somehow I made it through.
I know I have good days and bad days and I try to focus on the good days. On the good days I’m baking cookies or cooking dinner. On the bad days, my husband organizes something from the shops or possibly some leftovers from the freezer.
I play mostly word games to distract myself from the pain and discomfort that my body imposes. It is so nice sometimes to be able to take my brain’s focus someplace else.