How long has it been since you first heard that you have “chronic pain”? Do you recall when you first asked yourself, “why me”? How many times have you thought this or even said it out loud, “why me”?
I bet we all have lost count. I was only 24 years old when I heard those words. That was when I was told that I was going to be disabled as a young adult and that I would never be able to work outside of the home.
I had three small children under the age of 7 years old. I remember thinking” why was this happening”? I asked myself that question over and over again. I could make a guess that it was around a million times. Why me?
Then one day I decided to stop– that continuing to asking myself that question was not serving any useful purpose. All “why me” was doing was keeping me focused on the past and not allowing me to move towards the future.
What makes a person want to live in the past? Is it fear? Is it not knowing what the future holds as we travel through our journey of pain? Those who do not live with chronic pain do not know what the future holds, so why do we, as people living with pain, put so much energy into stressing about the future?
I believe one reason could be that we may think we no longer have the luxury to make plans like we once did or like others who do not live with pain. We find ourselves focusing on every aspect of our daily lives as we try to plan [as best we can] for the unseen breakthrough pain flairs that might sneak up on us with little to no warning.
So here is the question I think we should be asking ourselves: “When can we let go and live in the moment”? If we spend all of our time worrying and stressing over the “why me and what if’s”, when do we really resume living our lives? When do we finally stop asking the question?
Let’s make a pact with each other. Let’s decide that the time is NOW! Seriously, this very moment we stop asking “why me”!
Let’s do what we can to get past the “why me”, and start moving forward with our lives. Let’s re-introduce ourselves to who we are deep down inside and dedicate each day to sharing that person with our loved ones and others.
Pain is just one part of who we are. Let’s not allow it rule our lives. We, together, will not allow pain to win. Each one of us will become the winners! Let’s become seekers and warriors in our own lives. Our mission is to find our true selves—the person we are meant to be. Let’s fight hard and put everything we have into it so we can emerge as the brave, strong and honorable people we are. Let’s journey together toward meaning in our lives.
Each of us has so much to accomplish and give to the world especially because we live with pain. Let’s discover what makes our inner being sing. Let’s uncover what makes each of us feel joy, passion and strength again. There are so many wonderful, fulfilling things out in the world that we who live with pain can do.
Here are a few suggestions that I can think of right away:
- Write a blog and share your journey with others who can learn from your lows and highs.
- Volunteer a few times a week at the local senior center.
- Find a non-profit like The Pain Community and volunteer your time and what you have learned so you can help others.
There is so much more that we can do to help us journey toward meaning in our lives. I would love to hear about what others have found to be meaningful.
We can become whole again by finding our place in the world. We can make all the difference in our lives and the lives of those around us. We can bring the contentment back that we long for. My parting wisdom: Be open to change. Please don’t hold back because of fear of change or the unknown. Each of us has so much to offer the world and the world desperately needs what we have to contribute.