Alexia,
First let me say, how truly sorry I am you have been treated so horrible. No one….No one.. should every shame you for being in pain.
There is such stigma surrounding those who live with pain because of illegal drug addiction/prescription addiction. People living with pain have been lumped into the same category as those who have made a decision to use illegal drugs and to use prescription medications not in the intended way.
I am so sorry that the healthcare providers you have seen have not been helpful.
If you would like to let me know here or through private message the general area you are in I will be happy to reach out to some of my friends in CA to see if they have any suggestions for healthcare providers who may help you.
Please know you are not alone on this journey, there are others like myself who are there to offer you support, compassion and friendship.
TPC has hosted chats in the chat room here on this website on Monday-Wednesday-Friday at 11am eastern time and on Thursday nights at 7:30pm eastern time. It is a great place to meet new folks, to talk to others who truly understand what a life of pain is all about. I do hope to see you there.
Take care,
Noki4