Hello, I’m discouraged

[RevT]

Hello, I’m a minister of 8 years. I have had 4 hip replacements back surgery and every joint in my body hurts. On my best day pain is 5. After 12 years on disability and trying my best to fight through each and every day. I decided to reach out to my doctor about my mental state. I was given a very low dose of Xanax once a day. I was then referred to a mental health doctor. After four months with no improvement what so ever I have come to realize. Patients with little income are out of luck. I forgot I take hydro morphine 8 mg 4 times a day. I have also been lead to think because I’m on a high risk pain medicine that the Government regulation limits how the doctor can help me. I have been on several different medications, but after 12 years of pain medicine my tolerance lvl must be high by now. The pain I have endured and continue to is becoming unbearable with the depression and anxiety. I don’t know much about medicine and I been reading up. So I’ve learned high blood pressure is common with chronic pain along with anxiety depression lack of sleep extremely bad sweats. Now Xanax being by far the cheaper way that helps the blood pressure and helps you rest and to relax I’ve been told we try not to use it people have been known to get addicted. So I looked it up that’s how I know about the blood pressure. It’s true people abuse Xanax but the numbers are lower for the abuse of Xanax than the other medicines they are trying for me to use. These other medicines cost hundreds more dollars a month. What am I missing. After 12 years of living everyday for my family not for me it’s Groundhog Day for me every day. I finally say I’m afraid I need help and this is what I’m faced with. So what if Xanax may or may not become addicted I’ve taken morphine for 12 years really. There’s something wrong with our system and it needs to be fixed. Now I’m beginning to understand why we have so many people hurting good people that end up turning to street drugs. Everyone isn’t going to abuse but those that do have made it impossible for people that need real help to get it. Don’t be part of the problem be part of the solution. My medicine is checked every month I pee in a cup every month. I must now see 2 doctors every month. No wonder the insurance company is going bankrupt. There needs to be more studies please read up. These expensive medicines they are pushing is made in China for pennies on the dollar. Now who is the bad person. Instead of treating patients as drug addicted patients maybe the doctor or university that do these studies should stop focusing on the money and more about the patients. In 12 years I’ve had 4 doctors some move on in time. I have had 1 doctor that I felt like the patient wellbeing should be first. Thanks for letting me vent . I truly just don’t get it. I’m tired going to lay down

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