I am also a grandparent living with pain. I was on this journey when my children were small and I don’t remember it being so difficult. I suppose I was younger and had more patience for the constant noise and such. I love my grandchildren more than life itself but there are days that the constant chatter and running around gets to me so badly. I have spoke with my daughter about this and explained it has nothing to do with not wanting to spend time with the grandchildren but rather the inability to give them the needed attention that they deserve from grandma.
We have worked it out that if I am having a bad day and the grandchildren want to be at my house, then she comes too. That way she can deal with their needs and I can just enjoy spending time with them. On the days I am in a better place I love for them to come and stay all day and night with us. It does wear me out and sometimes right in the middle of our sleepover I feel myself becoming a little over-whelmed. When that happens I take a few moments to regroup, I let them know that Grandma needs just a little bit of quiet time and have them to go play in the playroom which allows me to shake it off and continue our visit.
At one time I found myself feeling so guilty over this and I realized that hanging on to guilt was not healthy for any of us and it sure wasn’t going to help anything. Once I was able to let the guilt go, I found it so much easier to handle the little meltdowns that I sometimes felt I was going to have due to the constant noise and chatter.