Puma-
I can relate – I was the caretaker for my wife for 8 years until I myself had a terrible auto accident and now am on the other side as well.
From my own experience, I tend not to harp too much on how I am doing. My wife is aware that I am in pain. On the other hand, when things get worse or I have a new symptom that is bothering me, I do talk about it with her. It’s important for her to know when things are worse, if for no other reason so she knows that my behavior change is due to a new issue or new level of pain and not something else 🙂